Happy Halloween

We had a grand time trick-or-treating!  And I am once again overjoyed that the kids agreed upon a theme-- for those without young children, this is Jake (from Jake and the Neverland Pirates, a Disney cartoon), his friend Izzy, and Captain Hook.  Yes, Captain Hook prefers sandals to boots. 

Uga Muga

Every so often, the difference between the life we are leading and the life we likely had imagined strikes me.  I had that moment last week as I walked Matthew into school.  Before Matthew was born, if you had asked me to envision what life might be like 3.5 years down the road, I would have come up with something, but I really have no idea what that might have been.  I know it wouldn't have included (a) me being a stay at home mom nor (b) Matthew being unique nor (c) Matthew attending a preschool program for kids with disabilities.  Even though I would have never imagined it then, I can't imagine my life without it now. 

I love walking Mattie into preschool, even though he can be quite obstinate about it at times.  Holding his little hand, seeing him with his backpack, walking with him into the classroom, hearing him saying 'hi' to his classmates-- all moments I wouldn't want to miss.  Last week, he wanted me to carry him in.  As I picked him up, he wanted to 'uga-muga' (rub noses). I stood still, wanting to soak in the moment.  It might not be what we imagined, but it is better than we could have dreamed. 

Cried Uncle

I apologize for yet another potty training post, but promise this will be the last one for a while.

After what felt like a successful weekend, Monday (10 days into it) was horrific. 8 accidents in as many hours. It wasn't like he wasn't going to the potty. He would have an accident just minutes after going! And he started getting pretty obstinate about going too. Even with that, Monday night, I was undeterred. I knew we had success over the weekend and figured we just needed to be more stubborn than Matthew. I have many more years practice at being stubborn!

Tuesday morning started well. And I figured the school day had gone at least pretty well because they hadn't called me to bring up additional clothes, like they had on Monday. I walked into his class to find out he had just 1 accident. Not bad! They also let me know that he had gone potty just 8 minutes earlier. Nevertheless, I wanted to follow our routine and take him to the potty one more time before we left. There I found yet another accident. As is practice, I put him on the potty anyway, where he proceeded to pee yet again. Ugh! In a span of 8 minutes, he went to the potty twice AND had an accident!  After the next accident right after we got home, I cried 'uncle' and put a diaper on him. I just do not have the mental fortitude for this! So, he won this battle, but in the long run, I will win the war.  We will take a break and try again later.

As I was recanting this story for a friend, she asked 'Are you sure there isn't a physiological issue? He doesn't seem to be emptying his bladder.' And then it hit me- he isn't usually emptying fully. And he has to work at it when he does. I was blaming his attention span (or lack thereof) and his defiance, and that may play a part, but there is likely a physiological explanation too.

During his first surgery, when he was 5 months old, a nurse inflated the Foley catheter balloon in his urethra instead of his bladder. It caused trauma and he voided blood after the Foley removal. Later that stay, he required recatheterization so that he could void and heal. The urologist scoped his urinary tract during his urology surgery 10 months later and found scar tissue build up in his urethra from the trauma of the misinsertion of the Foley. At every urology appointment since, our Dr asks about Matt's stream, which to this point I never had an answer because he was going in a diaper . Now we have 11 days of data points that aren't really encouraging and we anxiously await our next urology appointment (which was already scheduled for his yearly kidney check) coming up next month. 

At 3 this morning, when all of this was still swirling around in my head, I was less frustrated with Matthew, but more ticked at the medical mistake that seems to be making something not easy even more complicated! I am even more ticked off now than I was when the trauma happened 3+ years ago. Like Matthew doesn't have enough challenges with the laundry list of anomalies that have arisen out of his chromosome disorder, he definitely didn't need additional anomalies created! Just UGH! 

Sweet Letter

Matthew received a sweet letter in the mail this past weekend.  It was from his 'little mommy' at his Cypress preschool.  She was so kind and loving to him and he adored her. She has since  moved on to Kindergarten and we moved to Austin, so they haven't seen each other since June.

"I want you to come back" with a picture of the 2 of them. 
So very sweet!


A picture of the 2 of them together can be seen here.  So sweet!

Fretting Over Small Milestones

I've fretted about each of Matthew's milestones-- unsure if and/or when he would hit them. I took a sigh of relief after Matthew uttered a few words, thinking speech was the final frontier.  I realized Saturday morning that I was wrong. There will always be another milestone, another reason to fret, down the road.  It might be a smaller milestone, like using a spoon, but there are many more to look forward to and that will likely cause me consternation. 

After a horrible potty training day on Friday, Saturday morning I was dejected by Matthew's potty training progress. My mind was swirling with the doubt-- will he even be able to do this? is his body so different he won't be able to do this?  what will our life be like as he gets older and never does this?  After my fretting, he seemed to figure it out a bit more this weekend.  After a Friday (almost a week into it) with 7 (!) accidents, he had only 1 (!) all weekend long.  Now, I'm not doing a happy dance just yet, as he's still a long way from bathroom independence, but this was great progress!

Matthew has proven to us time and time again that he will do it on his time table, not ours, but it is a lesson I have to be reminded of, in real time, again and again.

I fretted Matthew wouldn't be able to master a spoon,
but he has figured it out!

Lovin' and Not

Some of the things I'm lovin' these days---

I volunteer once a week at the elementary school, helping Jackson's teacher do workroom projects.  This sign hangs in the work room and I love it...a lot!  The compliments range from 'You are doing a great job' and 'Thanks for all that you do' to 'You look great today' and 'Nice shoes'.  In my book, whomever thought of this sign is as awesome as the sign is.  It makes my day every day I see it.

I was clearing out the closet of outgrown costumes and one costume of Jackson's caught Matthew's eye.  Unfortunately, it is too small for Mattie, but he didn't seem to mind playing dress up in it anyway.

Alyssa and Jackson made a rocket ship out of a discarded Amazon box and it has been a favorite this week.  This picture looks like quintessential childhood to me.

Uncle Bryan and Aunt Brandi bought the kids a huge box of chalk and it has gone to great use on our driveway, walkway and porch.  I love it! 

The one thing I'm not lovin'--

There is a large amount of wildlife in our neighborhood that freaks me out.  I've seen a snake and trachela crossing the road (sounds like the start of a joke, but believe me, I wasn't laughing).  We have huge lizards living in our bushes.  We found an ugly spider on the car.  You can hear coyotes howling at night.  It's just a little more rural than this suburbanite is accustomed. 

Last Bits of Babyhood

The last bits of babyhood have left the Hoy House.  There is no longer a row of 3 car seats smashed in the backseat of the car.  The strollers are no longer in the trunk, but now hang on the garage wall, with cobwebs covering the wheels.  The crib is in the attic, disassembled, awaiting a new life with a future niece or nephew.  There are no booster seats at our kitchen table.  And our youngest Hoy is now wearing big boy underpants. 

Potty training is not fun at all.  I figure the 'not fun' part will last a bit longer with Matthew than it did with the other kids. It usually takes a bit longer for the switch to get flipped for him, but he is making progress, albeit slow.  I love progress and the thought that one day all of the kids will be bathroom independent.  Until that happens though, I foresee a bunch of laundry and more than a few glasses of wine in my future.