We originally started this blog (years ago) to keep track of the every day things in our lives that we didn't want to forget but knew that we would in time. As life got in the way, we posted less and less until March 2010 when Matthew's arrival rocked our world. Now we use this blog to let everyone know how Matthew is progressing and the big events going on at the Hoy House. We are so appreciative of everyone who has read our story and has thought and prayed for Matthew and for us.
Not sure how it has been almost 2 months since I last posted, but I guess I blinked and the time went by faster than I ever imagined.
Thankfully March and April were vastly improved over February! Since I last posted, we went on a cruise with dear friends, we enjoyed time off for Spring Break and visits with family and friends. We started soccer (for Aly and Matt) and flag-football (for Jax), and then hosted a crawfish boil. We continued school, and work, and scouts, and piano, and so on.
Now it is just a mad rush to the end of the school year. Happy spring!
February was a bit rough-- We passed around a stomach bug. The dog was diagnosed with cancer with few treatment options available. Matthew ran a mystery fever for 4 days, due to an ear infection. and I got what looked to be a spider bite on my forehead. But the month had lots of awesome moments too-- Matthew met 2 of his Language Arts goals for the year (7 months early). We had a great time at the Cub Scout Pinewood Derby, where Jackson (and Darren) came in 1st in his den (though didn't place in the finals).
Family and friends celebrated Matthew's sixth birthday.
And we are done selling Girl Scout cookies, where Alyssa was excited to "earn" Mr. Moos (a little stuffed cow).
Six years ago, I sat staring at my newborn's hands. I was still in shock over his missing thumbs. I wondered if I would ever stop staring at them or seeing them as different. A few months later, I realized I stopped seeing his hands as unusual. A year later, I started counting other kids' fingers because they looked like they had too many (they had 5).
Even though Matthew's missing thumbs had become a norm for us, I still feared there would be things that Matthew wouldn't be able to do because of his missing thumbs, like play the piano. In an episode of M*A*S*H, a professional pianist injured his hand in the battlefield and the cultured doctor who loved music, Winchester, found the soldier/pianist a few pieces made to be played with one hand. We have found that like this episode, music "is in your head and in your heart and in your soul" and it takes the right person willing to help. For Matthew, that is Ms. Rebekah, who is also Alyssa and Jackson's piano teacher. I am so grateful for her! Mattie may not be a professional pianist, but he loves music and now gets to explore it. He loves going to lessons and I love hearing him plink out his few notes as he practices. Thank goodness for those willing to see the possibilities!
Today, Matthew turned 6. Six! It was a fun day, perfect for the fun-loving boy.
Our sweet Matthew loves... Playing outside Bouncing a basketball Throwing a football Riding his bike Going to school Riding in Daddy's convertible Watching Mickey Mouse Eating french fries Petting the dog (or seeing any dog) and being with his friends and family. Every day is a good day for Matthew, but it was especially good today!
+1. Matthew graduated to a bigger bike and had no problem navigating our block with his training wheels.
+2. We received our political shirts for the upcoming election. This is as political as we get! (Yes, we are big Star Wars geeks.)
+3. At least a dozen years ago, I fell in love with and bought a Mickey Mouse poster and then spent way too much money to have it framed. It has hung in my house ever since, and I smile every time I look at it now hanging in Matthew's room. It was worth it.
+4. Alyssa loves her room, more than she loves any room in the house. I think (hope) it is because we have made it to fit her, not that she's becoming a tween. (No, not yet!)
+5. I took a 'mommy photography' class to improve my pictures of the kids. They aren't always willing subjects, but our dog Padme loves attention. I caught this picture last weekend,
just before... -1. Padme had an emergency spleenectomy for internal bleeding caused by a tumor on her spleen. She was at the emergency vet for 4 days and has been home now for 24 hours. She seems to slowly be on the mend. We are hoping the tumor was benign, as the surgery would be curative. We hope.
The school day that causes me the most consternation-- pajama day. The kids love wearing their pjs to school. This seems to be the favorite 'reward' for the class and it makes me crazy. My kids don't have 'going out' pajamas. If they did, they wouldn't want to wear them on pj day. They only want to wear their favorite pajamas, which means they wear faded and likely misfitting pajamas that day. Definitely not something I'm excited sending them to school wearing!
Mickey Mouse pjs are the favorite.
It was these or the footed ones, neither a good choice!
This fall was a big one for Matthew. He entered full-time kindergarten, in a mainstream classroom, followed by a few hours of childcare at the after school program every day, and he spent his weekends playing soccer with typically developing peers. There were many days I wondered if we had done the right thing by pushing him into a mainstream world. Many nights I wondered if we would serve him better by allowing him more time in preschool or by having him join a special needs baseball league instead of soccer. Though my heart would likely have hurt a little less and my worries would have been different, maybe even lessened, I probably would have been holding him back.
Kindergarten was a huge transition-- not as much for Matthew, who LOVES school, but for his teachers and for us as his parents as we learned about how to help Matthew in the classroom. During the process, I was fearful that this school wasn't the place or fit for Matthew. This kept me awake nights and crying in the shower in the mornings, but after many meetings and lots of trial and error, I feel like we are finally on the right trajectory for Matthew to be successful at school. One indication of the evolutionary process-Matthew entered kinder with 2 classroom accommodations (special scissors and his ipad for speech) and now has almost 20. These accommodations do not change the curriculum, but help Matthew access learning in the ways that he can, given his speech and OT challenges.
The after school program was a big transition too. Now Matthew is in with kids of all grades (Kinder-5th) and expected to conform to those big kid norms-- like going to the potty as needed. I held my breath every pick up, hoping he had been free from potty accidents, and though he wasn't always successful, he did better than I expected and he loved hanging with the big kids.
And, well, soccer. Matthew struggled to keep up with his peers on the soccer field, but he loved every single minute of it. I think his feet might have touched the ball twice all season, but it didn't deter him from running up and down the field with his teammates. They won most of their games anyway.
As I watched Matthew interact with his peers in these new settings, it was a constant reminder that we are in Holland, but most importantly, it reminded me of the importance of holding Matthew to a high standard. He must have the opportunity to achieve as his peers do. As well, his inclusion is important not only him, but to his classmates as well. Matthew needs to be a part of their world. My heart hurt many times this fall, but it also swelled on countless occasions when I heard many of his peers call him "friend".
A few other recent developments in Matthew's world:
This boy learned to play Uno. I am in love with this new development!
This boy now talks, and talks, and talks. ALL THE TIME! He still has an uphill battle to be completely comprehensible, but he is figuring it out and making improvements both in articulation and vocabulary at a rapid pace.
This boy loves a good knock-knock joke.
And this boy still loves Mickey Mouse, but has added more favorites-- Harry Potter, Darth Vader, and a new favorite show, PBS's Super Why. I am pleased with Super Why because the show reinforces the concepts he is working on in school. He is lagging behind his peers in academic achievement right now, but we are planning for him to repeat kindergarten next year in hopes that the extra year will bridge the gap.
Halloween 2015
It was a big few months for Mattie, and for us. I hope we are on the straight arrow up now.
You may recognize this graphic, as I've used it many times for "Matthew's healing". The paths look identical.
