We originally started this blog (years ago) to keep track of the every day things in our lives that we didn't want to forget but knew that we would in time. As life got in the way, we posted less and less until March 2010 when Matthew's arrival rocked our world. Now we use this blog to let everyone know how Matthew is progressing and the big events going on at the Hoy House. We are so appreciative of everyone who has read our story and has thought and prayed for Matthew and for us.
Today, Matthew turned 6. Six! It was a fun day, perfect for the fun-loving boy.
Our sweet Matthew loves... Playing outside Bouncing a basketball Throwing a football Riding his bike Going to school Riding in Daddy's convertible Watching Mickey Mouse Eating french fries Petting the dog (or seeing any dog) and being with his friends and family. Every day is a good day for Matthew, but it was especially good today!
+1. Matthew graduated to a bigger bike and had no problem navigating our block with his training wheels.
+2. We received our political shirts for the upcoming election. This is as political as we get! (Yes, we are big Star Wars geeks.)
+3. At least a dozen years ago, I fell in love with and bought a Mickey Mouse poster and then spent way too much money to have it framed. It has hung in my house ever since, and I smile every time I look at it now hanging in Matthew's room. It was worth it.
+4. Alyssa loves her room, more than she loves any room in the house. I think (hope) it is because we have made it to fit her, not that she's becoming a tween. (No, not yet!)
+5. I took a 'mommy photography' class to improve my pictures of the kids. They aren't always willing subjects, but our dog Padme loves attention. I caught this picture last weekend,
just before... -1. Padme had an emergency spleenectomy for internal bleeding caused by a tumor on her spleen. She was at the emergency vet for 4 days and has been home now for 24 hours. She seems to slowly be on the mend. We are hoping the tumor was benign, as the surgery would be curative. We hope.
The school day that causes me the most consternation-- pajama day. The kids love wearing their pjs to school. This seems to be the favorite 'reward' for the class and it makes me crazy. My kids don't have 'going out' pajamas. If they did, they wouldn't want to wear them on pj day. They only want to wear their favorite pajamas, which means they wear faded and likely misfitting pajamas that day. Definitely not something I'm excited sending them to school wearing!
Mickey Mouse pjs are the favorite.
It was these or the footed ones, neither a good choice!
This fall was a big one for Matthew. He entered full-time kindergarten, in a mainstream classroom, followed by a few hours of childcare at the after school program every day, and he spent his weekends playing soccer with typically developing peers. There were many days I wondered if we had done the right thing by pushing him into a mainstream world. Many nights I wondered if we would serve him better by allowing him more time in preschool or by having him join a special needs baseball league instead of soccer. Though my heart would likely have hurt a little less and my worries would have been different, maybe even lessened, I probably would have been holding him back.
Kindergarten was a huge transition-- not as much for Matthew, who LOVES school, but for his teachers and for us as his parents as we learned about how to help Matthew in the classroom. During the process, I was fearful that this school wasn't the place or fit for Matthew. This kept me awake nights and crying in the shower in the mornings, but after many meetings and lots of trial and error, I feel like we are finally on the right trajectory for Matthew to be successful at school. One indication of the evolutionary process-Matthew entered kinder with 2 classroom accommodations (special scissors and his ipad for speech) and now has almost 20. These accommodations do not change the curriculum, but help Matthew access learning in the ways that he can, given his speech and OT challenges.
The after school program was a big transition too. Now Matthew is in with kids of all grades (Kinder-5th) and expected to conform to those big kid norms-- like going to the potty as needed. I held my breath every pick up, hoping he had been free from potty accidents, and though he wasn't always successful, he did better than I expected and he loved hanging with the big kids.
And, well, soccer. Matthew struggled to keep up with his peers on the soccer field, but he loved every single minute of it. I think his feet might have touched the ball twice all season, but it didn't deter him from running up and down the field with his teammates. They won most of their games anyway.
As I watched Matthew interact with his peers in these new settings, it was a constant reminder that we are in Holland, but most importantly, it reminded me of the importance of holding Matthew to a high standard. He must have the opportunity to achieve as his peers do. As well, his inclusion is important not only him, but to his classmates as well. Matthew needs to be a part of their world. My heart hurt many times this fall, but it also swelled on countless occasions when I heard many of his peers call him "friend".
A few other recent developments in Matthew's world:
This boy learned to play Uno. I am in love with this new development!
This boy now talks, and talks, and talks. ALL THE TIME! He still has an uphill battle to be completely comprehensible, but he is figuring it out and making improvements both in articulation and vocabulary at a rapid pace.
This boy loves a good knock-knock joke.
And this boy still loves Mickey Mouse, but has added more favorites-- Harry Potter, Darth Vader, and a new favorite show, PBS's Super Why. I am pleased with Super Why because the show reinforces the concepts he is working on in school. He is lagging behind his peers in academic achievement right now, but we are planning for him to repeat kindergarten next year in hopes that the extra year will bridge the gap.
Halloween 2015
It was a big few months for Mattie, and for us. I hope we are on the straight arrow up now.
You may recognize this graphic, as I've used it many times for "Matthew's healing". The paths look identical.
Earlier this week, I received an "on this day" reminder from Facebook, that 5 years ago I posted "[I am] coming to the realization that some day my kids are going to grow up and I won't have 3 small kids. I'm not sure if that makes me sad or very happy. I think I'll probably be both, though I have quite some time before that point." Five years later, I think we are to that point-- we no longer have 3 small kids. With this realization, as I anticipated in 2010, I am both a little sad and very happy. In these last few days of 2015, we have spent the better part of every day rearranging the house to do away with our playroom and move each Hoy kid into his/her own big kid room. Today, I looked in these redone bedrooms with a wistful glance, remembering what was and wondering what will be. We have moved from our season of 3 little kids to our season of 3 not-so-little kids. To everything, there is a season, a joyous new season. Happy New Year!
We are now almost 2 months in to the school year and it still feels like we are drinking from a fire hose. So, long time, no post. Sorry.
The Good:
I am very pleased with all 3 kids teachers this year. So far, the kids have been enjoying school, and after school care at the Y, and soccer, and piano, and scouts.
I continue to love my school, my classes, and my students (old and new). My classroom is my sanctuary. I even have a plant in my room this year--that is still alive! (It might be a record!)
The Bad:
This is how the last 2 months have shaped up-- 2 kids had strep, 1 had a stomach bug, 1 got stitches (in his lip), 1 kid caught lice, then 2 kids caught lice, and I had a cold. Not exactly the way I'd like to start the year, but hopefully it is all out of the way.
The Ugly:
I haven't loved Matthew's transition to kindergarten, or the worry that comes with changing Team Matthew, or the despair I've been feeling about his schooling. Don't misunderstand, Matthew LOVES school, and most everyone is kind to him. But as I expected (and feared), Matthew needs a hefty dose of special education support to access the general education curriculum and getting those supports in place has been rough this year. I am hopeful this is a just blip on our Matthew radar, but I am anxious for this to get worked out.
The Awesome:
I prefer to not end on a downer, and its been a while since I've posted, so I want to give you an update on Matthew's verbal communication. Matthew's progress is never a straight line up, so even his biggest successes often are followed by a tempered correction, but his verbal ability has really jumped lately. He still struggles with articulation. I probably only understand about 1/2 of what he says, but in the half that I understand, he has soooooo much to say! He has become much more adept at getting his wants and needs across. "I don't like it" is a favorite phrase of his. The other night, I was trying to get him to come home with me and he very clearly said "I want to stay". We love upward progress.
And though I've been a bit disheartened about his experiences at school so far, this is the boy I feared wouldn't live...or walk...or talk. And he did all 3! He will figure it all out, I have to have faith.
