Some moments with Matthew feel so hard--like cajoling him to get into the car after therapy is a 5 part process. Let's go to the water fountain. Let's play hide and seek in the atrium. Let's open the 'magic' door. Let's walk the balance beam (the parking hump). Let's unlock the car. And finally, after we do those steps, we can get in the car, usually without tears (his or mine).
Other moments are so ordinary and so beautiful, they take my breath away. I looked back in the rear view mirror on our way back from Target and saw my big boy sipping on an Icee. I spotted him climbing into the chair in my office so that he could play with the keyboard. I heard him say 'mama'. Just every day ordinary, but miraculous too.