Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Butterfly Effect

Last night I went to book club to discuss Stephen King's 11/22/63.  Not to give anything away about the book, essentially it is about time travel and President Kennedy's assassination.  The book refers to the butterfly effect quite a bit, and it always reminds me of Matthew-- and the difference a moment makes. 

Matthew's unbelievably rare chromosome disorder is de novo, meaning neither Darren nor I have uniquenesses in our chromosomes that might have led to his partial trisomy 4q.  It was total happen chance and in that split second of meiosis where the chromosomes were dividing, something was amiss.  If Matthew had been conceived a moment earlier or a moment later, he likely wouldn't have his 4q duplication. 

That thought was on our mind a lot the first year, a little less the second year, and a lot less this third year.  But there are still moments we wonder how life would have been different if Matthew had been born with the typical 46 chromosomes.  Seeing Matthew hurt (surgery after surgery) and struggle (to do things most kids do) is often heart wrenching.  

I have to believe in the butterfly effect--that Matthew's uniquenesses exist for a reason or reasons that I don't know or understand.  I know that moment has led us to this time, and this place, with this life.  And this life is very good!  If that moment had been different, maybe this would be too. 

Matthew helping Darren with the crossword.

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