Today I had one of those reminders that Matthew is developmentally behind. It happens with every evaluation, with every 'developmental checklist', but today it just seemed stark. With all of the medical issues, and the fact he hasn't been to occupational therapy in almost a month, I almost forgot that he was behind. We've just been trucking along in the everyday, living and enjoying life moment by moment. So, today I've been reminded, and it freaked me out a bit and made me a little sad.
But now I remind myself that Matthew is my unique miracle baby. 25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage with 60% of those because of chromosomal abnormalities. Matthew is one of two known people in the world with his particular duplication. The fact that he made it out of the womb is against the odds! Thinking about that fact helps put the slight developmental delays in perspective.
Thinking about Matthew's health issues (heart and head in particular) also puts those delays into perspective. For example, the fact that Matthew doesn't sit on his own yet seems a lot less important when we think about the upcoming surgery, where they will cut out a part of his skull. So, we'll continue to work on his development, giving him the exposure and opportunities to develop but we'll also work to keep it all in perspective.
Speaking of the health issues, we are scared, worried, and plainly freaked out about them, but even our perspective about those important things is continually reframed by sitting in the doctors' waiting rooms with so many other families, going through similar or worse (sometimes much worse). Everywhere we look, there are so many people dealing with the unknown and the unexpected...we are not alone.
It's all about perspective!