Standing Down

With Matthew's big known surgeries behind us, we take a collective sigh of relief. I joke that we can now 'stand down', as we've been on high alert for what feels like a very long time.  I'm more optimistic about our future, Matthew's future.     

But I still have fear in the corner of my mind-- I wonder what the next big, nasty surprise will be.  I think of the article about intestinal malrotation that said there is a 2-24% (depending on the study) mortality rate of children with malrotation, even after corrective surgery. I think of the article that the nurse gave us as we were preparing for surgery, of a boy with a 4Q duplication, who passed away before he was 2.  I remember that Matthew is one of two known cases in the world with his duplication, and I worry the reason the genetic team won't tell us about the other case is because he didn't make it. 

I don't think I'll ever get rid of the fear, but I hope that as time passes between us and the scary surprises that the fear will go dormant.  I hope for more time like right now, where Matthew's biggest health concern is an ear infection. I hope and pray.

Matthew 10 months