Warm Up To The Idea

When Darren and I first started dating, he babysit my best friend's kids for one afternoon. After the experience of caring for a 2 year old and a 6 year old for a few hours, he called to let me know that he wasn't sure he was up to the task of being a parent.  After I got done laughing, I reminded him that they typically don't drop a 2 year old (or a 6 year old) off at your house and say 'have fun'.  Thankfully, they often come to you as newborns and you get to figure it out as you go along...grow together...warm up to the idea of having a 2 year old. 

I've always thought there was wisdom in that, but no more so than with Matthew.  If on the day he was born you had told me about all the ins and outs of Matthew's journey this past 2 years, I would have run out of the house screaming. I would have never felt up to the task.  But thankfully, we've learned as we've gone along. 

I was reminded of this the other day.  I was thinking about the traditional life cycle of marriage and family-- single, date, get married, have kids, launch kids, empty nest, late middle age, become grandparent, and enjoy retirement.  There are lots of variations to this traditional cycle-- divorces, remarriages, step families, deaths, kid free couples, single adults, etc.  I just expected that our life would would look pretty traditional.  Of course, there was always a chance that our course would change, but I never thought about it.  I just assumed we'd follow the traditional pattern.  Now, with Matthew, I question that.  Potentially, there may never be a time where we are without a child at home.  We don't know anything for sure.  Goodness, I can barely imagine a year from now, but there is a chance that we will not have a traditional cycle now. 

This idea used to scare the dickens out of me, but the other day, it just came to me.  We aren't suddenly going to be 65 years old with a dependent 30 year old. If that really becomes the case (which it may or may not be), we will have ample time to warm to that idea, to figure it out, to grow together.  Everything will work out, just as it should, in its own time. Just like it has to now.