Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Wrongful Birth?

Ever since I read the blog in response to the couple that sued the doctors for wrongful birth, I haven't been able to get that lawsuit out of my mind.  I just can't help but to think about our journey with our sweet baby Matthew. 

A picture of my supposedly typical 'Tres'
I'm not sure what our ultrasound tech was actually looking at during my 18 week ultrasound, but she missed Matthew's missing kidney, his missing thumbs, his heart defects, his malrotated intestines, and who knows what else.  But instead of wanting to sue her, I want to kiss her!  

I keep thinking about what might have happened if she had found these things.  We would have likely been referred to genetics, a higher risk OB, etc.  Our beautiful home birth would haven been replaced with an unwanted hospital birth. We would have been scared for months and months and likely told a bunch of scary things (like we were on the first night of Mattie's first hospital stay).  Who knows what they would have suspected his disorder to be without an amniocentesis--probably trisomy 18, which is 'phenotypically similar' but different.   Like so many carrying a child with a genetic disorder, we might have been told that the child might not make it out of the womb, or that he might not live past birth, or that his quality of life may not be worth living.  Our gentle ease into Holland might have been a plane crash.  And even with all of that, it wouldn't have changed anything.  Our sweet baby Matthew would have been born exactly as he is, but our journey to his birthday likely would have been much, much scarier.  

Sure, Matthew's life has been a little dramatic, scary, and heart wrenching.
After craniosynostosis surgery
But Matthew's life has been and is full of joy, beauty, and fun.

I can't imagine a world without our sweet baby Matthew, nor would I want to. His squinty grin. His giggle. His blue eyes and dimples.  His beautiful 4 fingered hands.  His sweet disposition. His amazing determination.

I am a better person because I am Matthew's mom.  We are a better family because Matthew is a part of us.  He is amazing, strong and vibrant.  He inspires us to be better people.  He is our perfect, unique, sweet baby Matthew.   Every day with Matthew is a good day!

Wrongful birth?  Absolutely, no way!


  1. I thought about Matthew and the joy he has brought you when I read it as well!