I've been thinking about struggles lately. There is some truth that through struggles you learn to really appreciate things that might have gone unnoticed otherwise.
I look back at the pictures of Alyssa and Jackson when they were Matthew's age and feel a little sad for two reasons. 1. Matthew has to really work at those things that came so naturally to them. It hurts my heart to see Matthew struggle to do the most natural of things (sitting up, for example). 2. Because they came so easily to Jackson and Alyssa, I didn't celebrate those milestones. I took it completely for granted. I wish I had known better.
Now, I don't take it for granted. I notice and celebrate the littlest of things. Those little things give us hope for the future. Yesterday, Matthew was rolling around on the floor and for a few seconds he rocked back and forth on his knees and elbows. I did a happy dance in the living room. It is the pre-crawl and someday, he may crawl! It was only a few seconds but it is forward progress. Very exciting!
We are within 36 hours of Matthew's head surgery and I think my anxiety level is actually leveling off. I'm not sure it could have gotten higher in all truthfulness. My nervousness is primarily because Matthew has had the unexpected after surgery (both times). But now I joke that the unexpected would be if this was a textbook surgery. I'd be thrilled and I'm hopeful that will be the reality!
We are planning to cross some of our to-dos off our list and enjoy our family time tomorrow. We will update the blog on Monday as we get news to share. Thank you for the continued prayers and positive thoughts!