Darren and I are alike in many ways, but in a few we are complete opposites. As it relates to our fears for Matthew, we are opposite and compliment each other well. I'm afraid of the short term...what does the next week hold? what will be the unexpected surprise after surgery? will they pull us into one of the family rooms to give us the ultimate bad news? As my foil, Darren is completely calm about the short term. He knows in his heart that all will be okay. I wish I had his optimism!
Now, long term is different story. Darren worries about what life will be like for Matthew, either being developmentally delayed or disabled. Matthew is already delayed, missing many current developmental milestones. I see how nervous this makes Darren. As Darren's foil, I typically do not fear the future. I know we will address every need Matthew may have, and we'll find a way to cope with every unexpected. Though I do freak out about his development on occasion, I mostly just pray we get a future with Matthew!
Neither of us are perfect (far from it), but Darren is my perfect partner. I feel unbelievably fortunate to have the right partner to navigate Matthew's journey. I'm thankful he is Daddy to my kids. This past 9 months have tested us in many ways. We have had to tag-team parent more than we would like. We sometimes fight about stupid stuff when we are overstressed. But I feel very fortunate to have him at my side, to serve as my foil and me his. For my perfect partner, I am very thankful!