Last night was not the quiet, healing night I had hoped it would be. Matthew was up every 20-30 minutes throughout the night. He isn't calming with touch or song. He's had several doses of morphine and tylenol, but neither has worked to calm him for longer than 30 minutes. Because feeding him does seem to quiet him at least while he's eating, he's had an amazing amount of liquids (especially compared to his typical eating pattern). His blood pressure alarm goes off frequently, and we aren't sure if its because he's in pain (possibly) or an effect of his swelling/fluid retention. He's still running a fever (which was expected). Matthew's eyes are swollen shut and he's beginning to look like a raccoon with his bruised eyes.
We were warned this recovery would be rough...and it is. Poor baby Matthew. I've run out of tricks in my bag...I've tried swaddling him, patting him, background noise, more blankets, less blankets, singing, holding his hand, etc. I just can't take away his pain and I hate that!
As I was drafting this post, Matthew began whistling as he took in breaths and shook off his head dressing. So the respiratory therapist came to give him a breathing treatment and the nurse just rewrapped his head. I chuckled yesterday remembering how I used to freak out changing Jackson's diapers after his circumcision. I hated seeing him in pain. Oh goodness, how much more I can stomach now. I can change a diaper with an arterial line coming out of Matthew's groin. I can hold Matthew's head, which is cut from ear to ear, while the nurse changes the bandage. I can watch them take vial after vial of blood. I still really, really hate seeing my baby in pain but I can soldier through it now. It's only made me a bit lightheaded a few times.
Dr T just visited and he's encouraged. To get out of ICU we need to get Matthew's blood pressure under control and we'll be visited by the pain management team. Then we'll be in a regular recovery room until we can manage the pain at home. Please pray or say a well wish for Matthew's comfort today. Thank you!